TELECOMMUNICATION To let your computer communicate with computers that are far away, connect your computer to a telephone line by using a modem. Communication programs To manage your modem, you need a disk containing a communication program. The cheapest popular communication programs are Bitcom and Procomm. The typical modem manufacturer gives you the Bitcom or Procomm disk at no extra charge. When you buy Windows, you get a communications program called Terminal at no extra charge. To perform extra tricks, buy a fancier communication program such as Procomm Plus ($65), Procomm Plus for Windows ($79), Smartcom ($100), or Crosstalk for Windows ($115). Those are the prices charged by discount dealers. You get Smartcom free if you buy a modem that has the ``Hayes'' brand on it. Another way to get a communication program is to buy an integrated package such as Microsoft Works or First Choice. Those integrated packages also produce word processing, databases, spreadsheets, and business graphs. Of all the communication programs, the easiest to understand is First Choice's. Settings To communicate with another computer, make sure that both computers are set to communicate in the same way: Question Possible answers Usual answer Which baud rate?300, 1200, 2400, 9600, 14400, or 288002400 How many data bits?7 or 8 8 What's the parity bit?0, 1, even (E), odd (O), or none (N)none (N) How many stop bits?0 or 1 1 What kind of duplex?half-duplex (H) or full-duplex (F)full duplex (F) Is XON/XOFF enabled?yes (enabled) or no (disabled)yes (enabled) When computer experts chat with each other about which communication method to use, they usually discuss those questions in that order. For example, if the expert's computer is typical, the expert will say ``My computer communicates at 1200 8 N 1 F enabled''. To communicate with that computer, you must set up your computer the same way. To do that, run the communication program, which asks you those questions and waits for you to answer. The communication program also asks you whether the modem is COM1 or COM2. Popular online services The most popular computer system for Americans to communicate with is Compuserve, which is in Ohio and owned by the same people who own H&R Block. It contains many databases you can tap into. Some of those databases are for professionals. Others are for shopping, stocks, news, airline reservations, hobbies, games, and other forms of fun. Evening rates are low: less than $10 per hour. (Day rates are higher.) The charges are automatically billed to your Master Card or Visa. Compuserve has branch offices staffed by computers in all major American cities. If you call the branch office nearest you, you'll automatically be connected to the headquarters in Ohio at no extra charge, so you can tap into Compuserve's databases without paying for any long-distance calls. Besides letting you tap into databases, those computers let you swap information with other computerists, via electronic mail. For example, if you and your friend Sue are both using Compuserve, Sue can send Compuserve a message addressed to you. Her message will stay on Compuserve's disk. The next time you try to use Compuserve, Compuserve will tell you that her message to you is waiting on disk. Compuserve will offer to read it to you. By using Compuserve, you can send messages to all your computerized friends and even to strangers. Compuserve users have organized themselves into clubs, called special interest groups (SIGs). Each SIG is devoted to a particular hobby, profession, or computer topic. If you join a SIG, you can read the messages sent by all other members of the SIG, and you can leave your own messages for them. You can also play with the CB Simulator, which imitates a CB radio and lets you chat (via typed messages) with other wild people across the country. You can give yourself a fake name (``handle''), to protect your anonymity. Compuserve users spend most of their time playing with the electronic mail, SIGs, and CB Simulator, rather than the databases. In addition to Compuserve, you can choose from other online services that are more specialized, such as MCI Mail (for electronic mail), The Official Airline Guides (for plane reservations), Dialog (for research librarians), Dow Jones News/Retrieval Service (for stocks), Nexis (for news), and Lexis (for lawyers). Some of those specialized services are wonderful, addictive, and expensive. You can also try Prodigy, American Online, and Delphi. Each charges about $10 per month instead of an hourly rate. Prodigy is owned by IBM and Sears. One reason why Prodigy is so cheap is that it's financed like a magazine: while the top part of the screen shows the information you requested, the bottom part of the screen invites you to see ads for many products. You can ignore those invitations! When you buy a modem or communication program, you typically get with it some coupons that give you a free hour or two on each of the popular online services, so you can sample the joys of telecommunication. Bulletin boards A computerized bulletin board system (BBS) resembles Compuserve but is free. It emphasizes electronic mail, SIGs, and CB Simulators. It's run by a hobbyist from a computer in the hobbyist's own home or office. You swap messages with the hobbyist and with all other callers on the system, as if they were pen pals. You can choose from thousands of bulletin boards around the country. To find the bulletin boards in your neighborhood, ask your local computer store or computer club or school's computer department. Also look at Computer Shopper magazine, which contains a listing of all popular bulletin boards in the United States, Canada, Scotland, Italy, and Saudi Arabia. The listings appear every 2nd month, in January, March, May, July, September, and November. Some bulletin boards are sexually explicit (heterosexual or gay). Some of my friends met wonderful people on bulletin boards ___ and married them! Smiley's pals Here's a picture of a smiling face: It's called a smiley. If you rotate that face 90ø, it looks like this: :-) People who chat on bulletin boards often type that symbol to mean ``I'm smiling; I'm just kidding''. For example, suppose you want to tell President Clinton that you disagree with his speech. If you communicate the old-fashioned way, with pencil and paper, you'll probably begin like this: Dear Mr. President, I'm somewhat distressed at your recent policy announcement. But people who communicate by electronic mail tend to be more blunt: Hey, Bill! You really blew that speech. Jeez! Your policy stinks. You should be boiled in oil, or at least paddled with a floppy disk. :-) The symbol ``:-)'' means ``I'm just kidding''. That symbol's important. Forgot to include it? Then poor Bill ___ worried about getting boiled in oil ___ might have the FBI arrest you for plotting an assasination. The smiley, ``:-)'', has many variations: Symbol Meaning :-) I'm smiling. :-( I'm frowning. :-< I'm real sad. :-c I'm bummed out. :-C I'm REALLY bummed out! :-I I'm grim. :-/ I'm skeptical. :-> I have a devilish grin. :-D I'm laughing. :-o I'm shouting. :-O I'm shouting really loud. :-@ I'm screaming. :-8 I talk from both sides of my mouth. :-p I'm sticking my tongue out at you. :-P I'm being tongue-in-cheek. :-& I'm tongue-tied. :-9 I'm licking my lips. :-* My lips pucker for a kiss or pickle. :-x My lips are sealed. :-# I wear braces. :-$ My mouth is wired shut. :-? I smoke a pipe. :-} I have a beard. :-B I have buck teeth. :-[ I'm a vampire. :-{} I wear lipstick. :-{) I have a moustache. :-~) My nose runs. :-)~ I'm drooling. :-)-8 I have big breasts. :*) I'm drunk. :^) My nose is broken. :~i I'm smoking. :/i No smoking! :~j I'm smoking and smiling. :'-( I'm crying. :'-) I'm so happy, I'm crying. :) I'm a midget. ;-) I'm winking. .-) I have just one eye, ,-) but I'm winking it. ?-) I have a black eye. 8-) I wear glasses. B-) I wear cool shades, man. %-) My glasses broke. g-) I wear pince-nez glasses. P-) I'm a pirate. O-) I'm a scuba diver. |-O I'm yawning. |^O I'm snoring. X-( I just died. 8:-) My glasses are on my forehead. B:-) My sunglasses are on my forehead. O:-) I'm an angel. +:-) I'm a priest. [:-) I'm wearing a Walkman. &:-) I have curly hair. @:-) I have wavy hair. 8:-) I have a bow in my hair. {:-) I wear a toupee, }:-) but the wind is blowing it off. -:-) I'm a punk rocker, -:-( but real punk rockers don't smile. 3:] I'm your pet, 3:[ but I growl. }:-> I'm being devilish, >;-> and lewdly winking. =:-) I'm a hosehead. E-:-) I'm a ham radio operator. C=:-) I'm a chef. =|:-)= I'm Uncle Sam. <):-) I'm a fireman. *<:-) I'm Santa Claus. *:o) I'm Bozo the clown. <:I I'm a dunce. Since those symbols are pictures (icons) that help you emote, they're called emoticons (pronounced ``ee MOTE ee cons''). Downloading Some bulletin boards contain software you can copy freely (since the software is freeware or shareware). Copying from the bulletin board to your own computer is called downloading. If you write your own software and want to contribute it to the bulletin board, you upload the software to the bulletin board. Barriers Although Compuserve and bulletin boards can be fun, two barriers prevent them from being used by the average American. 1. If you want to find a particular piece of information, you'll have a hard time figuring out which database to contact and how to extract the information from it. 2. Typing messages to people is tedious and impersonal. (I'd rather chat on the phone. Most people can chat faster than they can type.) Voice mail Engineers are developing voice mail. It lets you record your voice onto a computer disk, so that other computerists can retrieve it. It acts as a high-tech answering machine. Unfortunately, a voice-mail message consumes lots of disk space; but as disks continue to get cheaper, the price problem will go away. LOCAL-AREA NETWORKS If you run wires between computers that are in the same office building, you're creating a local-area network (LAN). Each computer in the LAN is called a node. For the IBM PC and clones, you can create four kinds of LANs. Here they are, beginning with the fanciest and most expensive. Server LANs A server LAN consists of one main computer (called the server) wired to several lesser computers (called workstations). A special person (called the network supervisor) tells the server how to act. Other office workers (called users) sit at the workstations. The server's hard disk contains a database that all the workstations can access. The server's high-quality high-speed printer can print whatever the workstations tell it to. Each workstation uses MS-DOS, but the server uses a different operating system instead that runs faster. The server's operating system is called the network operating system (NOS). Netware The most popular NOS is Netware, published by Novell. It's expensive. Here are the prices charged by a discount dealer (Hard Drives International, 800-PEN-DISK): Number of usersPrice for Netware 2.2Price for Netware 3.11 5 $579 $1179 10 $1279 $1495 20 $1749 $1999 50 $2549 $3199 100 $3649 $4579 Netware can be complex. For example, the infamous version 2.15C came on about 40 floppy disks, accompanied by 20 manuals! Version 3.11 lets you do more tricks than earlier versions and is also easier to install. Nevertheless, it's hard enough so that the typical office buying Netware pays the computer store to send a technician to the office to set up the network. The technician typically spends an entire afternoon to get the installation started, then leaves the computer running overnight (while Netware spends several hours formatting the server's hard disk) and comes back the next morning to finish setting up the network. Workstations Each workstation can be any reasonable PC clone ___ even a cheap 8088! But since 286 and 386SX computers cost just slightly more, you'll probably wind up making most of your workstations be 386SX's. Server The server should be a fast clone (such as a 486DX) with lots of RAM (8M or more) and a large hard drive (200M or more). Cables To form a Novell network, connect all the computers in the network by using thin Ethernet cables. Each cable is typically 25 feet long and costs $16. Run a thin Ethernet cable from the first computer to the second computer, then run a cable from the second computer to the third, then from the third computer to the fourth, etc. Make the server be one of the computers in the middle of that chain of cables. All the other computers in the chain are the workstations. At each end of the entire chain, you must put a cable terminator ($3 each). Network cards Into each of the network's computers, you must insert an Ethernet network card. It's a printed-circuit card to which you attach the thin Ethernet cables. It costs about $150. How the network works Each user sits at a workstation. When the user turns on the workstation's power, the workstation asks for the user's name (and maybe a password). Typing the name and password is called logging on to the network. After the user logs on, the user's workstation accepts normal MS-DOS commands, just as if the user weren't on a network. For example, if the workstation contains two floppy disk drives, they're called A and B, and the user can find out what's on drive A by typing ``dir A''. If the workstation contains a hard drive, that drive is called C. But if the user tells the workstation to get a file from ``drive F'', the workstation will get that file from the server's hard drive, by using the network. The server is everybody's ``drive F''. For example, to find out what files are on the server, the user gets a directory of those files by typing ``dir f''. Passwords and other security measures prevent any individual user from messing up the important files on the server. The network also prints reports saying how much time each user has been spending on the network. That's how the typical Novell network acts, but your Novell network might be set up to use a different letter than F. If the letter F bothers you (because it reminds you of sex), you can set up the network so that the server's hard disk is called ``G'' instead. Total cost To create a 20-user Novell network, you face many costs. First, buy Netware (for slightly under $2000). Next, spend many thousands of dollars to buy a server and 20 workstations. For those 21 computers, buy 21 network cards (about $150 each), 21 cables (at $16 each), and 2 cable terminators ($3 each). Pay several thousands dollars for the labor of installing Netware on the server, fiddling with each workstation's AUTOEXEC.BAT, inserting the 21 network cards, stringing the 21 cables so that nobody trips on them (you might have to punch holes through your office's walls and floors!), buying network versions of all the programs you want to use on the network, and training all the users. Hey, nobody said progress was cheap! Since installing a Novell network is so expensive, don't do it unless you have no other choice. Let's look at some cheaper alternatives. . . . Peer-to-peer networks A peer-to-peer network is a network in which more than one computer can act as a server. In a peer-to-peer network, every computer can be given the ability to send files directly to every other computer. Since each computer runs ordinary MS-DOS (instead of a special server DOS such as Netware), the network runs more slowly than a server network but is more flexible. The best and most popular peer-to-peer network is Lantastic, invented by Artisoft. Lantastic comes in three versions. The fancy version uses thin Ethernet cables and Ethernet network cards ___ just like Novell. But instead of using a ``server'' and Netware, it uses the Lantastic operating system, which is much easier to install (it comes on just one floppy disk!) and costs less. Discount dealers sell a 2-user starter kit for about $500. That price includes the Lantastic operating system, networking hardware (thin Ethernet cables, terminators, and Ethernet network cards), and manuals to hand the 2 users. Your only additional expense is the labor of installing it all, which is easy! Ethernet transmits data at a speed of 10 megabits per second. (That's 10 million electric signals per second.) If you don't need that much speed, you can save money by getting a 2-megabit-per-second version of Lantastic; its 2-user starter kit costs just $359. Zero-slot LANs To cut your cost even further, buy a LAN that doesn't need a network card ___ and therefore doesn't need a slot to put the network card into. That kind of LAN is called a zero-slot LAN. To attach the LAN's cable to the computer, plug the cable into the computer's parallel printer port or RS-232 serial port. Unfortunately, a zero-slot LAN handles just one pair of users ___ just 2 computers. The hardware setup is so easy: just run the cable from one computer's port to the other computer's port! The most popular zero-slot LANs are Lantastic Z and Desklink. Discount dealers sell each for about $90. Desklink comes with a serial cable (to plug into the serial ports). Since the main part of the serial cable is an ordinary phone cord, you can run Desklink even between computers that are many yards apart: just buy a longer phone cord or an extension cord from your local phone store (such as AT&T or Radio Shack). Unfortunately, it works slowly: just 0.1 megabits per second. Lantastic Z uses that same kind of serial cord (at the same speed) but also includes an 18-foot parallel cable, which you can use instead for faster transmission. But even if you use the parallel cable, the transfer rate will be much slower than the network-card versions of Lantastic. File transfer programs To pay even less, get a file transfer program. The most popular one is Laplink, from the makers of Desklink. Discount dealers sell it for just $99. It includes a universal cable that you can attach to either serial or parallel ports. Even easier to use than Desklink, Laplink is a program that shows you which files are on each computer's hard disk and lets you copy files from one computer to the other. Laplink's only purpose is to copy files. If you're sitting at computer A and you want to run a program on computer B's hard disk, Desklink lets you run it immediately; Laplink requires that you copy the program to your own hard disk first. Laplink's main competitors are The Brooklyn Bridge ($75 from Telemart) and Paranet Turbo (just $55 from the publisher, Nicat Marketing Corp., 207-788 Beatty St., Vancouver BC V68 2M1 Canada, phone 604-681-3421). Good dealers If you're near Boston and want to install a Novell or Lantastic network, you can get help from a dealer called Aegis (in Watertown at 617-923-2500). The Aegis employees are friendly and competent. They usually charge just $65 per hour. Another Boston-area company to explore is Compuware Services. It has more experience and knowledge about how to set up large Novell networks for law offices and banks. It charges about $90 per hour. It's in Needham Heights; phone Roy Krantz there at 617-449-4400. If you're in another part of the world, ask around to find the best network dealer near you. If you have any experiences to share, please tell me! WAYS TO SHARE Instead of buying a LAN, try these cheaper ways to share. . . . Sharing a printer Suppose you and a colleague want to share a printer. Instead of buying a LAN, just unplug the printer's cable from one computer and reattach it to the other computer! If you're too lazy to unplug the printer's cable, another alternative is to buy a box called an AB switch box, which most dealers sell for about $15. Into the box, plug the printer's cable and two cables (called ``A'' and ``B'') that go to the two computers. The switch box has a switch on it; if you flip the switch to position A, electricity flows between the printer and the computer attached to cable A; if you flip the switch to position B instead, the printer is electronically attached to B's computer. To let four people share a printer, get an ABCD switch box, which attaches the printer to four computers called A, B, C, and D. Dealers sell it for about $20. Hewlett-Packard, which makes the most popular laser printers, warns you that traditional switch boxes generate surges that damage laser printers. When switching, avoid damage by turning the laser printer off ___ or turning it off-line. Better yet, instead of using a traditional (mechanical) switch box, use an electronic switch box, which has no mechanical switches and doesn't generate any surges. The cheapest ones cost about $75. But since you can buy a cheap laser printer (such as the Panasonic 4410) for just $599, your best bet is to buy a separate cheap laser printer for each computer and forget switch boxes and networking! Sneaker net Of all the networking schemes ever invented, my favorite is sneaker net, because it costs the least. To transfer data to your colleague's computer by using sneaker net, just copy the data onto a floppy disk, then put on your sneakers and run with your floppy to your colleague's desk! That method is also called the Nike net. In Boston, it's called the Reebok net. Besides being free, it's also the healthiest network for you, since it gives you some exercise!